Dah Baca Apa Je?

Topik bagi kali ini adalah, Dah Baca Apa Je?
- So far, saya baru baca Genetics and itu pun bukannya menyeluruh. Just baca bahagian yg saya tak berapa nak faham je :D

For me, I aim to study about things that I didn't understand. Saya jenis tak boleh masuk mcm tu je, saya mesti nak pertikaikan "Mcm mana tu?" - "Mcm mana boleh jadi mcm tu" - "Boleh percaya ke semua experiment ni?"

Haaa... Saya jenis orang mcm ni. Suka menyoal and suka membaca klau saya nk faham something. Alhamdulilah, so far saya boleh faham Genetics sbb ada lecturer yg awesome & ada 'kitab'. But utk subjek lain, itu agak menakutkan sebenarnya sbb saya takde 'kitab' and certain subject mmg kena masuk mcm tu jee

Pendek kata, saya seorang suka belajar, KLAU, ada explanation :)

So far, banyak lagi subjek yg belum cover, but saya lekk je mcm takde exam. Hahaha.. bukan begitu ye. Just tak dpt nk focus sgt sekarang. Maybe nnti lah kot.

Kawan-kawan semua dah cover Physiology & Biochemistry, saya je yg terkapai-kapai tak baca benda lain selain Genetics. But it's okayy... Lain orang, lain cara pembelajarannya kan? :)

Plus, I'm a right brain person, tak mudah catch-up sperti mereka yg left brain tuuu. Hahahahhaa. Just kidding. Everyone is the same, selagi ada usaha. , semua bolehhhhh!

:D
:D
:D

Assalamualikum :D

I'm the annoying friend

Ya Allah, how to stop being so annoying?

I can't help but feel like I always annoyed people around me. It happened accidently. I don't mean it :(

Just hope that they will bear with me and stay. I really hope that. Hope that I didn't push them away.

Ke-ma-la-san

Tak tau lah kenapa sejak study week ni tahap kemalasan malas gila babeng. Padahal final dah dekat dah wehhhh.... Tolong lah study!

It's finals, not a test, not quizzes but finals. Exam. *dushdush*

Bila lah aku nk insaf niiii? Nnti klau tak boleh jawab exam kang, menangis tak berlagu. 

Save me from myself

Won't somebody just come and take me away? Take me away from all these sorrows, take me away to getaway, take me away from all these stresses

I don't need a plan, I just need somebody who likes to do things on the spot, impromptu. 

Can someone just call or text me and say "Hey, let's go out!" - "Hey, let's hang out!" - "Hey, do you want to go somewhere for a while?"

Alternative

My blog is the alternative route to my twitter.

Twitter supposed to be a place where we can speak out our mind. But some people... ntah lah. Hence, I want to limit my time on twitter.

Well, sekarang ni tengah waktu study week. And as usual, saya malas nak study, malas nak balik UM.
Tak tau lah UM tu ada badi apa sebenarnya. Bila teringat UM je, automatic akan rasa stress. Padahal takde apa-apa pun.

You know when some people said that we should keep some thoughts to ourselves? Sometimes I think it's true. But sometimes tak tau kenapa, perasaan ni nak je cakap kat orang tu apa yg telah lama kubukukan dlm hati.

It's like this, saya mempunyai memori yg sangat singkat. SANGAT SINGKAT. So, bila saya tersentap dgn orang... sooner or later saya akn lupa kenapa saya tersentap. BUT, perasaan saya tak boleh lupakan mcm tu je. SERIOUS, I don't know why my feelings mempunyai ingatan yg sgt kuat berbanding otak.

And that is why, ada certain orang saya rasa tak selesa bila ngan diorg sbb once saya dah terasa, susah utk perasaan tu diluputkan sebegitu, eventhough saya sendiri tak ingat apa yg membuatkan saya tak suka dgn dia in the first place.

And yeah, lagi satu. I don't like being left out. It makes me feel unimportant. Once in a while, saya faham. But klau dah selalu, I'll be stupid to think that you consider me as friend.

That is all. Thank You

SITI NABIQQAH BINTI ADZHARR

Do you know, antara semua kawan aku yg sweet, you're the sweetest!

Thanks for the cheer up song Iqqah. I really need it at this time :')

So far, tak pernah lagi ada orang snggup record lagu then send it to me. Serious lah...  You make me feel like a bad friend. Haha

LOVE YOU IQQAH! Straight from my heart, you are the best!

P/s : Suara kau sedap wehh.. Serious tak tipu. Birthday aku nnti tolong buatkan surprise mcm ni lagi eh. Hihi  

Dude or dudette/dudine

Yes guys. I'm confused. I confused whether I'm a guy or a girl because whenever my friends starts to talk about weddings, and I'm there, like "Ohhkay... Ehem.. Ehem... Yup" 

SERIOUSLY. I don't know what to talk about. Tak tau mcm mana nk masuk dlm conversation mcm tu. Faiz yg lelaki pun boleh masuk, kenapa aku yg perempuan ni tak boleh? Grrr

Dah lah minat pun mcm minat lelaki. Isn't there any feminine side of me? Yes, there is. But not in interest, it's more to emotional. Yup, saya seorg yg feminine dlm bab emosi, tapi klau dlm minat.... Mmg jauh lagi.

Oh god.... What's wrong with me?

Friend/Sister

Dear Diary...... (Bajet jee)

Is it possible to treat your friend like she's one of your sis?

I don't know. Rasa awkward pun ada sebenarnya. Sbb takut terlepas ckp ke apa sbb bila ckp dengan dia, selalu terbayangkan bercakap dgn Ina. So, bila dah terbayangkan bercakap dengan adik sendiri tu, of course lah kita tak jaga adab percakapan ye tak? Haha

Dia tak annoying, but sometimes terasa geram plak bila tak dapat pukul dia klau dia buat lawak or perangai yg agk annoying sbb dia tu kurus sangat. Takut terpatah. Haha.

Klau tu Ina... Memang dah lama kena pukul. And lengan kena picit :P

Tests

Alhamdulilah! Finally done with Alternative Medicine final test. Yipee! :D

And alhamdulilah, I think I've managed to answer it eventhough I've just started reading the notes this morning. Hehe

Alhamdulilah, because I feel so lucky today! Haha

Butthurt

Butthurt. Apakah itu 'butthurt' ?

Adakah ianya bontot yg sakit? Hahaha

Tidakk... Butthurt = tersentap. Saya pun tak tau asalnya dari mana. But rasanya dari selatan kot. Kot jelahh. Kot jee.

Anyway, kenapa dengan butthurt? Adakah saya terbutthurt dengan seseorang? Siapakah? 

Perlu ke nak tau? ;)

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Klau nak tau jugak, PM saya. Byeee

Dual Personalities

My personalities depends with who I'm with. And actually, I don't know either it is my personality or attitude ?

When I'm with my family, I'm a lil bit matured, lil bit childish, a lil bit quiet and a little bit appropriate.

But when I'm with my group of friends, I tend to be childish, loud, annoying and inappropriate.

And a fact about me : I don't mix my personal life with my life when I'm with my friends. It is just the way I am from primary school.

In conclusion, 

My personality : I adapt to the people surrounding me

My attitude : I may be loud & harsh if you are my friend and I'm comfortable with you. I'm extremely quiet if I'm not comfortable. But with family, my attitude differs. It's unpredictable :)

27th November 2013

Wan telah kembali ke rahmatullah. Semoga rohnya terselamat dari azab kubur & semoga beliau berjumpa kembali bersama arwah Che Su

Surely you will be missed Wan :'(

...........Kesinambungan

Sebenarnya, saya tak sedih pun. Muka biasa saya memang mcm muka orang yang sedang bersedih, murung, penat

Tapi tapi tapiii..... Saya memang sedih pun. But bukan time diorang tanya tu lah. Time lain.

Agak dah beberapa hari gak aku sedih. So, betul lah cakap Nabila bila dia kata aku mcm "dah berubah sejak beberapa hari ni" .

1st, I'm amazed and terharu sangat bila kawan-kawan perasan perubahan saya :')

2nd, Saya memang rasa yang saya berubah. Tapi saya rasa saya mcm berubah ke arah yang lebih baik. I mean, sekarang ni saya selalu happy and had fun bila lepak ngan kawan-kawan. So in other words, they make me a better person!

About why I'm sad tu, nanti-nanti saya sambung balik kayy. Daa~

3rd October 2013

So... Ada apa dengan 3rd October?

Actually, takde benda pun. Saje je nak mark tarikh ni as my official "I'm back to blogging again!"

Well, cerita untuk hari ini :

8:00 am
My coursemates and I had answer a geology test - Introduction to Earth - , banyak jugaklah jawapan yg saya hentam sebab tak google assignment dia before this. Hehehee

9:00 am
Histology class was as usual. Except for this time, I can see that bila kitorang semua respond to lecture Dr Sheena, suddenly she became excited and bersemangat gila mengajar. Hahaha. I like that! Saya suka lecturer yang bersemangat mengajar. (Plus, she's kinda cute! :p)

10:00 am - 14:00 pm
GAP / BREAK

14:00 pm - 17:15 pm
We had Histology Lab.

Me : Waahhh.. Cantiknya buku. Berapa ringgit kau beli? Rm5?
A    : Ni? Ohh.. Ni buku dari tahun lepas. Rm50
Me : Rm50? SERIOUS? UNTUK BUKU YANG BUAT NOTA NI?!
A : *tersenyum jee*

Me : Sayangnyaa.... Mcm membazir je. Baik buat diari. Haha
B : Buat diari? Ada lagi ke orang yang tulis diari sekarang ni?
Me : Ehh... Of course lah adaaaa
B : Siapa? Kau? Hahahaha. Twitter kan dah ada, bukan tu mcm diari gak ke?

Tersentap mak nak. Haha


17:45 pm
Dinner with friends.
Sambil dinner tu, tiba-tiba Az tanya "Weyh, kenapa ni? Mcm sedih jee" . Sambung plak ngan Nabila " A'ah. Lately semenjak beberapa hari ni kau mcm dah berubah. Mcm deselubungi kesedihan"

Ha! Cenggitu lah ceritanya.

Dilemma. Again

Assalamualaikum kawan-kawan!

Sekarang saya berasa serba salah. Saya mendapat tawaran.

 

Tapi..... Saya tak rasa yg saya layak because honestly, I suck! BIG TIME

Hati kata "Yes!" , minda kata "Layak ke?"

But I thought diorang tak buat selection lagi. Maybe sbb tak cukup player kot.... Sbb tulah saya diserap masuk.

And anyway, its not official yet. So.... Chill Ainul, chill

Yah, tu je nak cakap sebenarnya.

FYI, saya cerita ni bukan niat utk menunjuk. Just nak mark tarikh ni as the date yg saya dapat tau saya dapat masuk MASUM. Unofficially.

See you then, byeeee

SUMPAHAN BAJU PINK!

Study Week

Well, hello there! :D

Assalamualaikum,
Its been awhile since my last post, right? Haha

Alhamdulilah, everything's fine now. I'm feeling content right now. Not too happy, but not too sad either. Hihi.

And actually, I've just realised Iqqah's comments on my blog (sorry Iqqah). But truth to be told, I had to thanks Iqqah for her pep talk. It kinda help me really. Its nice to know that you have a friend that cares about you even when you're miles away. LOVE YOU SITI NABIQQAH BINTI AZHARR! Haha

And right now, I'm on my study week. But I only started MY "study week" last Thursday. Har har har (shame on youuu, Ainul)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news,
I have whatsapp-ed some people a few days ago. And suprisingly, among 9 people, only 1 that had respond to my question. Actually, I've kinda hurt, I won't lie because deep down, I know many of them got the notifications but maybe they were sleeping, or didn't open the wifi, or ...... maybe they just got something more important to do. But at least, alhamdulilah someone did reply. So.... yeah. Thanks Az :)

Actually, I'm not complaining. I just wrote it here, in my blog, because it acts as my diary. So that one day, when I decide to read back my past posts, I'll know what happened to me, during my lifehood, from my point of view.

And I don't know who will read my blog / diary as it is public. But I hope that he/she won't feel offended with what I wrote here. But if you do, please feel free to let me know.

So, see ya!

(cont..)

It started wayyy back then.

It started when I'm in kindergarten :

- I don't have many friends when I'm in kindergarten. I was 4 years old back then. I tried to make friends, but they all seemed like doesn't like me. The way they looked at me, like somewhat, I'm a weirdo. Of course, we were kids back then, they didn't know what they were doing. And like any other kid, I'm an optimistic. I don't care what they think of me, as long as I have someone to hang out with.

(During this time, I didn't take it seriously because I have the love of my family. Especially my mum)

- And I did. Well, at least when I'm 6 years old, I've finally managed to get some friends. And they were my best friends back then.

When I'm in middle school :

- My glory days were when I'm in standard 1 - standard 3. I was very happy during this time. VERY HAPPY. I have 4 best friends, my academic was quite okay, my family was...... I feel happy with my family.

- Then, standard 4 came. My friends and I had to split classes. We weren't as close as before. I've tried to make new friends, but still, can't compare to my friendship with them.

High school :

- A normal girl. Just a typical Malay girl founded some friends, A GOOD FRIENDS.
(this part is quite long, so I'll just skip it)

Matrics :

-During the 1st sem, I was quite miserable. My 1st time being away from my family, my home. Can't quite fit in with my roommates. No friends in college. (That's why I hated college meeting/activities). All of my roommates were always with their friends, and left me alone.

- I've cried and cried and cried. Got no one to turn to. I felt embarrased to tell the story to my mum. Until one day she called me, and I've bursted into tears coz I can't hold it any longer. That's the 1st time that she heard me crying. The 1st time she knew I wasn't happy, that I was in misery.

- 2nd sem, is wayy better than the 1st one because I've finally got to know my classmates even better. The more I hanged out with them, the more I love them! We were inseparable. Always went to cubicle together, spent time together. Lets just say, they are the best thing that I have since I was in KMPh. This is one of the time where I've feel loved by my friends since a very long time.

Uni :

- (I'll just leave this alone for a time being)





Even though I still keep in touch with my matrics' friends, but its not the same as having a conversation with them in real life. Yes, we do whatsapp-ed, tweets, wall each other. But it's just not the same as meeting them. In social network I can't feel their love, but in real life, then only I can.

As for my family, I don't want to talk much bout them....... But long story short, I don't feel their love like I used to.

Love Deficiency

Dear Diary,

Is there a thing such as Love Deficiency?
Because if it exist, I think I might have it.

Why? How come?

...........................................................................

because in this very moment, I've realised that the main reason why I feel unhappy for a long, long time is that I can't feel that I'm loved by someone.

It doesn't make any sense, right?

Trust me, I don't think it'll make any sense at first. But then, after having that thought, suddenly... my playlist (yeah, I was listening to some tunes while thinking) , suddenly my playlist plays 'I Need Your Love' by Ellie Goulding.

its like a sign somehow..... then, I gave it another thought. That's when I started to accept that actually I just want to feel to be loved to be happy.

Why?

Lets just say, I don't feel loved neither at home or school.

why?

Let me explain it in my next post

I hate it here!
I want to go home!

I can't stand 'em!

I hate this college. Seriously. I used to like it, but now, I don't!

It's not this college who's at fault actually. Its the residents. I don't like them. Well, not all of them. But them, them who's like so kekampungan, so shallow, I hated them.

I've tried to be friendly, but they rebuffed me. So, its not my fault obviously. I don't know what's their problem. I've tried to make friends with them, but they just ignored me.

I don't know what is it with me and friends? It seems so hard for me to make friends here, in this college to be precise.

yes, I know I like to complain all the time. But this? This college is the root to all of my problems right now.

And I hate it.

One of my friends

Saya ada seorang kawan ni. Dia sangat caring and saya suka berkawan dengan dia.

But the problem is.......

Saya tak tau mcm mana nak ceritakan masalah saya kat dia.
Dalam hati ni selalu nak je call dia, menangis kat phone and tell her all about my problems.

But the problem is......

I don't know how to do that. Saya tak biasa nak meluahkan perasaan kat orang lain. So, mcm rasa malu plak bila nak ceritakan kat dia.

and at the same time, saya tak naklah dia berasa bosan with my never-ending problems.

So, saya rasa bersalah plak sbb tak ceritakan masalah saya kat dia. I feel like I'm being unfair to her sbb dia selalu ceritakan masalah dia kat saya (klau dia ada masalah lah) and that means that she trust me!

But me? Tak taulah kenapa rasa malu sangat nak luahkan perasaan ni kat orang lain.

and that's why, all my tweets and blog post contains elements yang depressed and emo all time.

FA ----> Depressed

"Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?"

Simple Plan (Welcome to My Life)

 Do you ever feel like you're don't belong where you are right now?

Do you ever get left behind?
Do you ever get ignored by someone / everyone all the time?

 Even though you have tried so hard to fit in?

 

Do you ever think that you are invisible? 

 

 

 No... Not this kinda of invisible


But this one -->                                                                                                    

 

Where no one could see you, even though you them to notice you so bad

Well, this is how I feel right now. And most of the time

Where Forever Alone.... could lead to Depression. And depression, could lead to ..........

Stay Strong, Ainul

Sumpah aku rasa nak menangis je lately! Tak tau nak luahkan kat mana.

Parents? I won't be seeing them in a month. Sisters? I don't feel that they could keep my secrets. Friends? ..................

Serious. Aku rasa mcm nak sakit jiwa. Nak call Iqqah, aku segan. Nak call Su, dia tak reply whatsapp aku. Tak tau lah nak buat mcm mana.

Kali ni punya stress, aku dapat rasakan yang aku boleh jadi mentally ill. Asal balik kolej je mesti emo. Asal malam-malam je, mesti nak meroyan kat twitter.

But that's the thing. I can no longer make twitter as my diary or psychiatrist. There's too many followers. Tanak lah plak nnti diorg rasa annoyed plak ngan aku

Kadang-kadang rasa mcm nak ketuk kepala plak kat dinding.

And frankly speaking, I'm tired of all this BS. Aku mcm dah lupa mcm mana nk jadi bahagia. I just rasa happy klau kat class je. But during weekends, klau tak balik rumah, seriously tak tau nk buat apa. And time tu lah dahi aku secara tak langsung akan berkerut.

ok, ni je post for tonight. See ya later

Camcheering with Qen!

Takde motif pun post ni. herherher

Just camcheering with Qen at library just now. Just wanted to test my laptop's webcam for the 1st time. Hihi

Family Dinner

Last Saturday, lepas habis pertandingan kompang, malam tu saya & Atin pun balik rumah sbb esoknya, hari Ahad ada family dinner. Ausz's treat. Yayyy! Of courselah happy gila bila orang belanja, kan?

Our family dinner was at Fish Market Manhattan, Setia City Mall. Ke Manhattan Fish Market? Ntah apa-apalah, asalkan korang faham. Ngehngeh

The dinner was great! Maybe sbb dah lama xde family gathering, so rasa mcm best lah gak bila semua orang brkumpul.

And that day, I wore a tribal shawl. Abah tegur, kata " Tiah dah makin feminine sekarang ni, eh? "

So, I took it as a compliment perhaps? Hahahaha. Yelah, maybe abah susah nak percaya kot that his tomboyish daughter, the daughter that he thought the least that would change, dah berubah jadi semakin feminine. 

Then he said yg baju I mcm formal. But i'm not sure which clothes he was mentioning. Its either the clothes I wore during class photoshoot or during the dinner (because he followed my Instagram too!)

So, these are some pics during the dinner. Enjoy! :D

But I think Abah mcm agak happy + sedih at the same time. Happy sbb semua anak-anak dia brkumpul. Sedih because he realized how fast time flies. Semua anak-anak dah besar, dah berubah. Especially me. The daughter that he always treat like a boy. The only tomboyish daughter who he taught would never change. Not in a million years.

BUT... During dinner everyone had a great time! Everyone was enjoying themselves.

Last Friday

Yah Yah.... Saya memang suka lambat post benda. Benda ni dh jadi last Friday but hari ni baru nak post. Hihi

Actually xde apa pun. This post just pasal me and my friends pegi outing je sbb time tu our biostats class got cancelled. So, kitorg pun keluarlah. KONONNYA nak cari baju utk dinner kolej. Haha

100th Post!

This is my 100th post! Yeayyy...

xde motif pun sebenarnya. Just ingatkan nak post something but mcm tak sempat je. After this ada class Man & Earth. So, rasanya 15 min utk update blog memang tak cukup.

BUT NEVERTHELESS

I will post a new post (err ??) later today.

so, please bear with me :)

THANK YOU

Biohealth's Family Day

Okay, sebenarnya cerita ni agak lama. Dah ketinggalan zaman. Last weekend, ada Family Day for Biohealth's students & alumni kat Glory Beach Resort, PD.

Semua batch kena buat persembahan including the seniors. For my batch, kitorang buat sajak sambil berlakon & tarian. At first aku tak dapat pegi sebab ada aktiviti kolej. Then tetiba aktiviti tu ditunda, so aku amik lah kesempatan nak pegi holiday dengan rakan-rakan baruku (ceeewaaah)

Mula-mula aku amik lakonan sbb saje je nak try berlakon. But then, tetiba Feezy tarik diri dari tarian sbb sexy sangat. Hahaha. So, Asiah ajaklah aku suruh join tarian sekali. Aku mmg eager klau bab mencuba benda yg baru ni ;P

And kebetulan plak, mmg aku nk try pun menari. So, I've took part in both performances : Tarian & Lakonan (nmpk tak ketamakkan aku disitu? :P)

  Practice Time

 ni time tarian : Az, Qen, Ara, Nabila, me and Asiah

 Qen, Ara & I saje je nk menggedik! Haha

And ni plak gambar before kitorg bertolak ke PD

 bersama Ily & Qen

 Kak Syaz

Sukaneka

Lepas smpai kitorg pun check-in and makan-makan dulu before berkumpul kat court. And time prjalanan ke PD smpai kat bilik, ada lah beberapa incident yg membuatkan aku panas hati sikit. So, mood nk excited tu mulai pudaarrrr. But bukan panas hati dgn sesiapa. Panas hati dgn diri sendiri jeee. Plus, cuaca time tu pun mmg terik, so mcm luar dalam lah panasssss. Xde mood nk buat apa2 langsung.

1st, dalam cuaca yg terik membahang, bad mood dan tekak yg sgt dahaga, boleh pulakk some people tu bikin gua lagi panasssss. Eventhough I've tried to hide it but tipulah klau kata my friends tak perasan. Hehe

1st game : Bola Beracun (xde gmbr)

2nd game : Lari ikat kaki dgn partner

Sblm start larikk

Pandai saya berlakon disini kan? Hahaha. Padahal dlm hati, hnya Allah je yg tau

Before Rehersal

Akibat kebosanan yg melampau, kami pun ber-camcheering disitu (camcheering eh, bkn camwhore :P)

With Az & Asiah

Dinner

Memandangkan ramai tetamu yg tak sampai lagi, kami pun buatlah kerja sendiri. Hehe

1st performance : Sketsa (Lakonan + Sajak)

- For this 1st performance, I terpaksa pakai baju jubah and pakaian biasa dulu sbb outfit utk tarian mmg tak sesuai utk dipakai time lakonan psl Gaza ni. And trust me when I say 'mmg tak sesuai sangaaatttt'. Anyway, saya jadi zionis dlm lakonan tu. Tgk muka pun dah tau muka ni jenis sesuai jd org jahat ;P

With Ara & Nabila

2nd performance : Tarian

Lepas habis berlakon, cepat-cepat saya pegi toilet tukar baju, tukar tudung - dari mcm alim (jubah, tudung bawal) ke modern (peplum, striking jeans) - bila difikirkan balik, mcm hipokrit pun ada. Hahahahaha

And semua gambar-gambar ni diambil after our dance

 Kat belakang tu Feezy

 Nabila aka Yoona and me!

Posing uollsss

After dinner

Last Day in PD!

 Kami tak plan pun nk jd tv3. Kebetulan semata-mata

Conclusion : I've had so much fun!

Credit to Yoona!